Onwards and Upwards No. 38
Hello my healing team,
I hope this update finds you well.
Whilst living on a day to day basis can sometimes feel slow, as I reflect back, time flies. It was October 2014 that I was told that I had achieved remission. Starting on Monday, I begin a five month program of chemotherapy at the Alfred hospital to knock down my recurring cancer. As part of this first phase of treatment, I will receive the three drugs Velcade, Cyclophosphimide and dexamethasone. The Velcade and Cyclo are the drugs that hunt down the cancer. The Dex is a steroid that supercharges their efficacy. When I had these drugs in early 2014, the side effects were manageable, but annoying. Nausea was occasional, insomnia only hampered me on Mondays, the hiccups started on Tuesday morning and continued until Wednesday morning, my suppressed immune system would materialise as a stye and infected eye every few weeks, and apparent I had the propensity to be grumpy. But don’t believe everything you read……… that last bit is just hear say!!
What troubles me about all of the side effects isn’t the physical duress, but the mental arm wrestle that you have to participate in. For the past two years I have lived a relatively normal life. One without too many side effects and without the constant reminder of cancer. However, when you are routinely in hospital, when you look in the mirror and see that puffy infected stye eye, when you hiccup for 24 hours straight, they all serve to constantly remind you that you’re not normal and that something is wrong. It annoys me that that is where I am headed again. I miss normal already.
This week I am finishing work for a period of 1-2 years. This is the time that it will take for me to undergo treatment, then recover. I will miss work. I will miss the challenge and the responsibility. I will miss my fabulously supportive friends and colleagues. As I was packing up my desk, I had a poignant moment. I was placing all of my belongings into a box and grabbed my box of personal business cards. I taped the box closed so that they wouldn’t all fall out. As I taped the box closed, it felt like I was closing the lid on my professional identity as a business person. It’s not normal. It hurt.
I have found a saving grace this week that has become my silver lining on the cancer cloud. Today I have travelled to Darwin to deliver my presentation on being Empowered in Adversity. I will also facilitate a workshop on how to Live Deliberately. By delivering my presentation, it forces me to engage my ghosts, and explain to a room full of people how to manage adversity, how to become empowered, and encourage people to strive to be the best that they can be. By delivering the workshop, I am reminded that I need to strive to be the best that I can be.
Whilst I won’t be experiencing the normal that I have become used too, I will find a new normal. I will endure and I will rise. I have done it before and I will do it again.
Don’t wait for adversity to strike before you consider how to be the best you can be. Start today. Embrace, love, live.
Take care
Geoff
I must recognise the tremendous support that has been afforded to both Sarah and I by our family and all of our friends. We are overwhelmed by your response to our challenge. Thank you!!
Great post Geoff. You make me grateful for the little things in life that are so easy to take for granted. We are thinking of you. Xxx
Keep us updated as you go through this next fight (as you normally do) – your the rockstar and I’m one of the many in your fan club!!
So great to see that you always been positive even during the dark moment that strike, I love that, keep it up and I am sure you win so yep embrace, love, and live.
Thanks Uncle!!