Into the deep dark blue

Onwards and Upwards No. 44

Hello my healing team,

I hope this update finds you well.

My recent frustrations were alleviated today when a very dear friend suggested we unlock those frustrations by going for a swim. Given I have been unable to exercise with a broken foot, this gesture was significant. It was made more significant when I suggested we swim in 14 deg cel water at Shoreham beach.  This was even more significant again given the water at Shoreham beach is seriously cloudy, on the ocean side (so prone to large wild life) and full of stringy seaweed beds.  Uncomfortable was top of mind.  Regardless, the reason why I choose Shoreham beach is because it is cold so it tests my immune strength, it is a 1.4km swim so it tests my physical strength and it finds us swimming into the unknown, the deep dark blue, so it tests my mental strength.

It is an interesting mind battle when you are swimming with little visibility.  You swim knowing that you should be fine, but can never be absolutely certain what is lingering in your path just up ahead.  I find that it is not dissimilar to my cancer experience.  I often feel as though I am walking into the dark, but I push on, taking one step after another, placing hope in the fact that I won’t step into a pothole or off a cancer cliff.

Before my buddy and I got into the water today, we acknowledged our worst case scenario in there possibly being sharks, but trudged into the chilly waters regardless.  We would tackle it together.  Secretly I felt challenged given the saying “If you stumble across a bear in the woods, you don’t have to out run the bear, only your slowest friend”!!  My friend is a far faster swimmer than I.  Bummer!!

As we swam to the first pole, some 500m away from the shoreline, we had overcome the freeze brain and were feeling good, even empowered.  We were swimming in 5m deep water and visibility was 2m.  My feet extending into the depths looked hazy.  We swam towards the second pole which was another 600m away.  We were plodding along, turning our arms over in unison. I was staring down, my eyes drawn to the changing shadows. At that moment a 4 foot long flash of silver flashed immediately below us.  Aarrrgghh (that’s me letting out a boy scream). I think I even let out a little bit of wee.  My buddy saw it too and yelled ‘swim in’!! I put my head under water. My buddy was easily going to beat me in, and I wanted to see the bugger that was going to bite me.

It was then that I saw Flipper’s dolphin brother, (I call him Rufus) finning slowly below me. Swimming 10cm from my feet, he was upside down looking up at me on waters surface. I think he was smiling at me. For the next 3-4 minutes, we were spellbound by Rufus and his two mates, the most majestic sea creatures constantly circling us, often swimming within my hands reach, with them as interested in us as we were in them!!  We could even hear the dolphins squeeking / talking!!  Frikkin amazing!! It was one of those moments when you are humbled to be present, humbled to be experiencing, humbled to be alive.

Upon reflection, I recognise that if I had not put myself into that situation that was so uncomfortable, I would not have experienced something so profound.  I would have perhaps felt more comfortable, but I would not have lived.  I want to strive to live more, even if it means being uncomfortable.  Further, what is more notable, I wouldn’t have made myself uncomfortable without the support of my buddy.  I would have found a reason to stay at home. I wouldn’t have lived.  With my last update, I received over 200 messages of love and support, each of which gave me strength. The strength to swim on!!

Thanks for swimming with me :).

Take care,

Geoff

Author: Geoff Nyssen

As a cancer fighter, I inspire others towards empowerment, wellness and deliberate living. View all posts by Geoff Nyssen