Month: June 2015

Onwards and Upwards No. 19

Hello my healing team,

I hope this update finds you well.

As you can imagine, the words “Early Disease Progression” are not the words I wanted to hear today. Disease progression bloody sucks, but for it to be “early”……geeze.  What a blow.  To keep it context, in October, I had 0.1% cancer cells in my bone marrow, February it was 0.8% and now it is 1.5%. That my friends is disease progression. It doesn’t sound a like a high number and the Nutty Professor says it is following the trend that stats says it will, but as I have iterated in the past, I really don’t like the prognosis associated with those stats.  If this trend continues, I will be back in hospital for another stem cell transplant quicker than you can say “rumplestiltskin” ten times.  The most distressing aspect of this all is that now I am heading into a space of uncertainty.  Control is being taken away again.

So what do I do now???

First, I need to stop and take a deep breath. Then;

1. I need to cut out the white noise that invades my thoughts, the same white noise that brings with it anxiety and doubt.
2. I need to focus and prioritise what is important.  Of course family and wellness comes first. I know what is important as they are imbedded in my goals.
3. I need to strive to improve. By following my gut instincts and researching, I can learn and modify what I do with improved learning.
4. I need to keep the door open for new people to enter, and with that, I need to be ready to change.  Change may bring the cure.

Overall, I just need to continue to be a good person.

Happy Friday.

Take care

Geoff

Onwards and Upwards No. 18

Hello my healing team,

I hope this update finds you well.

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, my world became a blur.  Many things that I was comfortable with, that I regarded as normal, changed.  They changed and I had absolutely no control over them.  Some changes that I had no control over included:

• With a broken shoulder, I found myself very limited in what I could do physically.
• I had to stop working, which at the time was the one thing that I spent most time doing.
• I was unwell which was foreign to me. I had always considered myself bulletproof.
• Living to 80 and beyond became a pipe dream as opposed to a birth right.

Effectively, I had lost control of my life.  I was absolutely disempowered. Move forward 15 months and I can now see positives associated with it.  Being in this position enabled me to strip back all elements of my life.  I was forced to stop doing everything that I was previously doing and returned to the base elements that I needed to exist.  By stripping my activities back to bare bones, I have been able to critically analyse the different activities that I fill my days with, then prioritise and enhance those that are most important to me. Fundamentally, I am using this insight to rebuild my life, focussing on what is important.  From a position of complete disempowerment, with support from family, friends and colleagues, I am now beginning to move forward with more clarity. I feel empowered.  Watch this space.

Take care

Geoff