Stem Cell Transplant No 2
Hello my healing team,
I hope this update finds you well.
The last week has been quite eventful. As you know, I have been feeling crapola and have lost my appreciation for zopper doopers. Regardless, with the support of my beautiful wife, I have been existing well enough out of hospital. On Saturday morning I even plucked up the energy to go for a walk in Fawlkner Park to watch younger people playing footy. It was nice.
I checked into hospital on Saturday for some blood tests. At that stage, the chemo had done its job as my blood counts had all hit zero meaning that I effectively had no immune system. So after being in hospital for half an hour, I started shaking uncontrollably,I found myself in growing amounts of pain and deteriorating quickly. I was put in a bed and soon become delirious. Every time I opened my eyes, there were more people over me, pumping in all sorts of drugs and connecting me up to different machines. I woke up three hours later to learn I had scored an infection, which had started doing nasty things to me. Effectively, it properly nailed me and it has taken until today to get back on my feet.
I woke up yesterday to a bit of a surprise. After pulling my covers back, it looked like a tabby cat had lost all of its hair in my bed (not that I have ever seen that happen
)!! At the same time, my body was looking a lot more ‘boyish’ 
. So I took the big step and shaved my head as I got sick of it all falling out everywhere. So now I need a beanie to cover my big cold ears.
Today I checked out of hospital. Unfortunately, all in my family have been unwell, and wanting to avoid another infection, I am staying with friends. Being amazingly accommodating my buddy Kristy has given me a well appointed room, and was even thoughtful enough to provide a ‘guest’ bottle of shampoo, which I thought was a bit of a low blow given my new circumstance 
😂. So it is time to keep my head down and focus on getting better. Onwards and Upwards!!
A few nights ago, I walked in the shoes of that person who I have never been before. I was suffering massively from whole body pain. I felt nauseated and ready to release from either end. I was experiencing hot and cold fevers and the shakes. I struggled to lift my head up off the pillow to take a drink of water to soothe my dry mouth and cracked lips. I felt tired, vulnerable and sad. As I endured this, my saving grace was in the knowledge that I knew this stage will pass. I can be strong and show positivity because there is light at the end of the tunnel and I will get better. However, I let my mind wonder a little and sit in the emotion where this stage wasn’t going to pass, a reality for many cancer patients, and a possible future eventuality for me. I wanted to experience that feeling of helplessness so I could understand that scenario. I admit to being a little scared and very confronted. I may even have let a little tear go. It’s not a place I want to be again any time soon and luckily for me, I know I won’t be. They say it is a good practice to occasionally walk in the shoes of others. They were very uncomfortable shoes!!
For many people living with F@$ken cancer, much of the pain and discomfort is not directly caused by the cancer, but is a result of the chemotherapy drugs administered. I now realize why people often forgo chemotherapy, and roll the dice of life.
Take care
Geoff
