Geoff Nyssen

Onwards and Upwards No. 12

Hello my healing team,

I hope this update finds you well.

Roughly six weeks ago I began to feel discomfort in my shoulder, right in the area where my humerus shattered.  To start with it was mild discomfort, a twinge here and a twinge there. But in the last few weeks the pain has ramped up significantly to the point where I have been compromised in movement, having constant pain in the shoulder.  I have had to take the occasional pain med for respite. 12 months ago it wouldn’t have worried me! The associated consequences were minor.  Now, the associated consequences could be major. Now all of those twinges, all of those pains, they all create significant anxieties because they could be an indicator that the frikkin cancer is back. It creates anxiety in me that is deleterious as it perpetuates the pain and the associated challenge.  I just don’t want that cancer to rear its ugly head!

This is where belief is key!!

Last Wednesday, I had a bone marrow biopsy.  They drill roughly 3cm into my back / pelvis to extract a 1mm diameter core of bone.  Then they suck out some bone marrow for testing. The Wednesday just gone, I had ‘Mibi’ Scan where they inject a radioactive sugar into me then scan my whole body for crazy activity. Cancer shows up like a light bulb on the scan.  Both the bone marrow biopsy and the scan show that there is little to no advancement in the cancer.  It is <1% of my bone marrow. You bloody beauty! Anxiety alleviated and my head is clear again.

Before I was diagnosed, and just about every 41year old guy, has pains, twinges and the occasional sore upper humerus (especially if they recently shattered it). I have to believe that every twinge isn’t the cancer re-emerging.  It’s just me being 40. I also have to believe that I am doing the right things to keep this crappy disease under control……..and btw……. I do believe I am doing the right things. I have to believe in myself! I believe I can do great things.

Believe. Believe in yourself. If it feels good, you are on the right path.

Take care.

Geoff

Oh…….I nearly forgot.  Regarding that pain in my shoulder. I think that much of it has been caused by me pushing myself in rehab, and also from some recent challenges that have been going on in my life. Most of them positive, some of them not so positive. The other thing I have to remember as described to me by the Nutty Professor this morning, “Geoff, your shoulder is like a car accident. After the accident, you can panel beat the car, but it won’t ever be new again.”  Although he says that, I do believe that I will play basketball again.

Onwards and Upwards No. 11

Hello my healing team,

I hope this update finds you well.

As I am sure you expected, my reintroduction to work has gone really well! When I arrived at work last Monday morning, I was a little concerned as my access pass no longer worked!  Were they trying to tell me something? But my concerns were quickly dismissed as I had a kind face in Jade (from HR) meet me at reception to welcome me back!!  Actually, the kind welcomes continued all the way through Monday, into Tuesday and Thursday and petered out with the last one coming at about 1:27pm yesterday (in week two).  I feel thoroughly welcomed!!

It has been a great experience returning to work.  Reconnecting with friends and colleagues, many whom I had not seen for 12 months has been a pleasure. It has also been refreshing to engage the brain in my work environment, thinking about people, projects and clients.  I am very grateful that GHD (not the hair straightener company) has afforded me the flexibility to renter the workplace and continue my rehabilitation, enabling me to take another step towards my new normal.  At home, we now have the routine established with the kids back at school and doing their after school activities, Sarah and I at work, and Ollie dog doing whatever he wants!!  A high five goes to Riley for winning his three races at the school swim sports. However, I do feel as though he has an unfair advantage with his size 200 feet being bigger than flippers.

A refreshing aspect about returning to work is the installation of a routine.  Whilst a routine can be boring, I use it to provide structure to my day so then it makes doing the hard things easier.  I use this structure to establish a plan that I can be more rigid about sticking to.  Firstly, I make sure I have included the things I need to do. I use the routine to help me exercise when I am feeling low on energy, to help me write when all I can scribe is invisible words, to help me get out of bed when I am feeling fatigued and to help me eat well (and at planned times) when I just want to eat that family size block of Cadburys Dairy Milk Chocolate ten minutes before dinner.

Secondly, but most importantly, I use the routine to make sure I am planning to doing the fun things like hanging out with friends, getting to the kids school and sports activities, like scheduling in that regular date night (I put that in for brownie points, but it could easily backfire. Watch this space). With a routine, I feel ok about resting as I know I have done a good days work. I can prioritise mediation because I know it is in the plan. I can eat a bit of chocolate because I know I have eaten well earlier in the day.  My routine helps me achieve what I need to and feel that sense of accomplishment.  It can be a little boring at times, but for me, it works.

Take care

Geoff

 

Onwards and Upwards 10

Hello my healing team,

I hope this update finds you well.

On the 18 February 2014 I rushed home from the office to play a game of basketball. Little did I know that it would be nearly 12 months before I would return to the office in a working capacity.  Today I return to work. You could say that my health holiday is over. I can honestly say that I am sick of ironing business shirts already!

In the hour after having hurt my shoulder (with me at that time thinking it was possibly just dislocated), I was annoyed as I figured I would have to miss work the following day.  I then found out my upper humerus was broken and was annoyed that I would have to now miss a week or two of work. A few weeks later I was diagnosed with cancer (and still had a broken shoulder) so I let work know that it may be a few months before I returned, not actually knowing when I would return.

In the few weeks after diagnosis, my mind was somewhat occupied with my new found predicament, and it was somewhat impaired by the morphine, OxyContin and Endone. But all the while, I was concerned that I was not at work. I would check emails a few times a day and my mind would turn to the projects I was meant to be working on! It took a few key discussions for me to refocus my mindset to wellness.  1) A chat with Nanette (my fab Kineasiologist) offered other items that I could focus on (writing my updates is one) that weren’t work related. 2) In a chat with one of my team members, she quite rightly said to me, “Geoff, your time right now should be spent healing, not thinking about work”. Of course I should have known this. But I guess I really did need to hear it from my team that I needed to stop thinking about work and start thinking about my wellness. 3) In chatting with my manager, it became clear to me that my time away from work was just my “maternity leave” equivalent.  I would and could get back. So since that time, I have focused on my wellbeing and my family.  Whilst the first nine months were extremely challenging, I have quite enjoyed the last three.  As well as health and family time, I have been able to use this time to reinforce the new habits that I have had to implement.

By returning to work, I will get back to doing some of the things I do well. I will also be sure to work to identify and improve the things I don’t do so well. I will work hard but will do so with wellness at top of mind and priority, and I will continue to pursue those challenges that Nanette and I discussed nearly 11 months ago. I am really looking forward to getting back into it and connecting with the team. I want to go in and be received as a friend, a colleague and someone that can assist.  However, I don’t want to be the guy coming back into the office who has cancer. With that, if by having cancer I can inspire a few people to be better, well I can live with that.

Thanks for welcoming me back!

Take care

Geoff

Onwards and Upwards No. 9

Hello my healing team,

I hope this update finds you well.

I start this update with the very sad news that Sarah’s step mum Heather passed away recently after battling cancer for several years.  Heather was a very kind, thoughtful person who was always there for others. Heather, thank you for all that you did for us and with us. We will miss you.  Big hugs to my father inlaw John, to Sarah and her sisters Bec and Narelle. Heather suffered with Multiple Myeloma. I think it is just bloody crap that two of us in one family have this cancer.  Actually, it is crap that anyone is diagnosed with it.

Happy new year.  I hope you have had a nice break over the festive season.  As always, we have been busy.  We returned from our holiday on the 23rd December to a full house of family for Christmas.  It was great to immediately be immersed in family having been away for six weeks, although we did have to hit the ground running.  You will all be happy to know that I was successful in finding a gift for Sarah. Phew…….dodged a bullet there.  Christmas with the family was great and New Years was equally as good as we hooked up the caravan again to spend New Years with our very good friends in Jamieson, which is in the mountains in Central Victoria.  Great fun.

You will be happy to know that i am getting a mop of hair back!  I even had my first hair cut a few weeks back! Whilst it is growing really slowly, I am happy to report that it hasn’t come back looking like pubic hair and it’s not red (not intending to offend people with red hair😁).

Now we are starting to get back to reality.  I have met with the nutty professor (Spencer) and he suggests that all is ‘in order’. Actually, I was just touching base with him given we really have no new testing or results to review.  You will be happy to know that his car repayment is now covered this week.  I have also started my monthly injection of the bone hardener (Zometa) which helps strengthen my bones against the cancer. So, nothing significant to report.  Hopefully just smooth sailing for a while.

My other news is that I will be returning to work at the start of February.  As I still experience fatigue, I will be going back on a 3 day a week basis. I have been feeling a little anxious about returning to work as I expect to find it a little harder to manage my wellness while I am there.  I do have to make it all work. So, I attacked those feelings head on. I went into the office to spend a few hours in that environment ‘acclimatising’ whilst most people were still on holiday.  I set up my desk, caught up with a few colleagues/friends and spent a few hours writing. I am happy to report that it felt great to be back and I am excited about returning! Attacking my challenge head on payed off.

Well now that we are getting into late January, so rather than sitting at home waiting for February to arrive, we thought we would jump back in the caravan and head to Echuca for a week. So I sit here having just spent the last hour in the pool with the kids. I know……. It is tough for some!!

Take care

Geoff

Onwards and Upwards No. 8

Hello my healing team,

I hope this update finds you well.

We currently find ourselves in sunny Pambula on the south east coast of NSW.  It is a gorgeous little place, but it has a slight sour taste in that it is the last stop of our holiday.  The caravan park here is quite large. It is a treat that it is set right up against the beach, but the best aspect is the packs of kangaroos bouncing through the place. There are also ducks walking around, unaware that the park residents are eyeing them off for Christmas dinner which is just a few days away ;).  Ahhhhh the serenity. 

Over the past week we left the Blue mountains and landed in Sydney, then shot south down the coats to Broulee then Pambula.  What an amazing place the Blue Mountains is.  Every mountainous outlook seems to have a jaw dropping vista, and there seems to be a thousand walks, with each of them uncovering another gem.  Whilst most of the tracks are established with steps or boardwalks, you still feel as though you are in the middle of nowhere as you see numerous lizards running across your path, fresh water crays abound in the pools of the streams and the forest grows largely uninhibited.

 Sydney was great fun. We caught up with my uncle and aunt, my brother Jerome, his partner Josie, and his fabulous outlaws. We were out of the caravan and into normal beds for the first time in a month.  Glorious!!  Jerome and Josie have just moved into their new pad in Paddington, so paint brushes were flying left and right as the renovations were being completed in earnest.  As you experience with all renovators, you arrive at their house at the agreed time to spend the first hour cleaning up painting equipment only get to the promise of “I’ll just finish this last skirting board”, then spend the next two days talking about the endless opportunities for renovating improvement.  Ahhhhh….I was that person not so long ago, and will be again soon I am sure.

Now I sit here by the beach typing out my last update before Christmas and I begin to contemplate our rush into the ‘Silly Season’.  I have recently read a couple of great emails and Facebook posts talking about how the most important aspect of Christmas is ‘being present’ as opposed to ‘giving presents’. With the year we have had, that totally resonates with me because more than ever, I treasure the opportunity to be present.

I also think about people who are not feeling so flash at this time and what we can do for those people.  I reflect on all the support that I have received over that past 10 months and how there were times when I needed propping up, or to receive reassurance and comfort, not only from friends and family, but occasionally from strangers (many of which whom are now part of my healing team). It made a huge difference to my recovery.  So I urge you to hunt down that person or people that is struggling and jump in give them a hand. Set a goal for yourself!  Stop for one minute today, perhaps now, and think of someone who may be unwell or struggling a little, then do something for them. That something may just be giving them a call to say hello.  Or it may be you going and doing something to help them, to lighten their load. Can I recommend, rather than asking them ‘what can I do for you’, make suggestions for things you will do for them. When you are a person in need, you actually feel bad making suggestions for ways people can help you.  You feel as though you are imposing. However, if someone offers you something specific that you can use, it is far easier to accept.  

Did you know that the hormones serotonin, dopamine and endorphins are released when you receive love and support. Oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’ is released as a result of physical touch.  These are the same hormones that are critical for healing. And with this, I wish you and yours a very merry Christmas and a happy new year.  Please stay safe!!

Take care 

Geoff