Onwards and Upwards No. 12
Hello my healing team,
I hope this update finds you well.
Roughly six weeks ago I began to feel discomfort in my shoulder, right in the area where my humerus shattered. To start with it was mild discomfort, a twinge here and a twinge there. But in the last few weeks the pain has ramped up significantly to the point where I have been compromised in movement, having constant pain in the shoulder. I have had to take the occasional pain med for respite. 12 months ago it wouldn’t have worried me! The associated consequences were minor. Now, the associated consequences could be major. Now all of those twinges, all of those pains, they all create significant anxieties because they could be an indicator that the frikkin cancer is back. It creates anxiety in me that is deleterious as it perpetuates the pain and the associated challenge. I just don’t want that cancer to rear its ugly head!
This is where belief is key!!
Last Wednesday, I had a bone marrow biopsy. They drill roughly 3cm into my back / pelvis to extract a 1mm diameter core of bone. Then they suck out some bone marrow for testing. The Wednesday just gone, I had ‘Mibi’ Scan where they inject a radioactive sugar into me then scan my whole body for crazy activity. Cancer shows up like a light bulb on the scan. Both the bone marrow biopsy and the scan show that there is little to no advancement in the cancer. It is <1% of my bone marrow. You bloody beauty! Anxiety alleviated and my head is clear again.
Before I was diagnosed, and just about every 41year old guy, has pains, twinges and the occasional sore upper humerus (especially if they recently shattered it). I have to believe that every twinge isn’t the cancer re-emerging. It’s just me being 40. I also have to believe that I am doing the right things to keep this crappy disease under control……..and btw……. I do believe I am doing the right things. I have to believe in myself! I believe I can do great things.
Believe. Believe in yourself. If it feels good, you are on the right path.
Take care.
Geoff
Oh…….I nearly forgot. Regarding that pain in my shoulder. I think that much of it has been caused by me pushing myself in rehab, and also from some recent challenges that have been going on in my life. Most of them positive, some of them not so positive. The other thing I have to remember as described to me by the Nutty Professor this morning, “Geoff, your shoulder is like a car accident. After the accident, you can panel beat the car, but it won’t ever be new again.” Although he says that, I do believe that I will play basketball again.
