Onwards and Upwards No. 30
Hello my healing team,
I hope this update finds you well.
There is not much to report at the moment on the health front other than all is going quite well. Fatigue proves limiting, but I am thankful that it is manageable. Last week, I was talking with my amazingly supportive sister in-law, Corinne. We were on holidays in Sydney and preparing for my youngest brothers wedding. We were talking of how I juggle my time and my priorities and I reflected that I often feel guilty about how I manage myself, my time and my priorities.
Since being diagnosed with Myeloma, I have had to look at all aspects of my life and implement much change. This includes my diet, my priorities, my daily routine, and especially, I changed by adopting a deliberate approach to life. I have made these changes so that my mind and body is at its strongest to fight the cancer, and so that I give myself the best chance of living to the happy age of 80. However, occasionally I lapse. I eat crap food, I don’t exercise enough, I get distracted from my priorities, I fall back into my old ways, I relax. When this happens, whilst it is normal for all of us, I feel guilty. That feeling of guilt, can materialise as anxiety, with a shortness of breath and a knot in the belly. The reason why I get that feeling of guilt is because if I am not constantly doing everything possible to stay strong, I may not get to 80.
Guilt and the associated anxiety can be detrimental. In the past, there has been times when I have been overwhelmed by it and it has stopped me in my tracks. Now, I treat guilt in a similar manner to all of my other challenges. I acknowledge the feeling of guilt and I expose the way it makes me feel. I talk about it to those close to me, after all, a problem shared is a problem halved. Also, by sharing the challenge, I get to test whether the guilt I am feeling is justified. If it is not, then I can brush it aside. If the guilt is justified, then I treat that feeling as an alarm bell. An alarm bell that wakes me from my assumed comfort, and reminds me that if I want to live to the age of 80, I cannot relax. I have to eat well and exercise, I have to prioritise my family, I have to live deliberately. I must stay strong.
Do you feel the anxiety of not doing enough?? If so, acknowledge it, share it with those close to you to test if it is real, then act.
Take care
Geoff
Well said Uncle G. I truly feel that it is something most of us experience. For those of us with little ones, the guilt is pronounced when we prioritise ‘me’ time – a sentiment shared by most of the mumma’s I know. It’s important to prioritise ourselves at times to maintain our own mental health, which in turn benefits everyone around us – especially the little tackers! While it may be a constant struggle to find that balance, I really believe that it is possible. Thanks for sharing G xo
Thanks for the inspiration for this update Rin!! Your the best. I agree with you that we need to prioritise ‘me’ time ……… lunch tomorrow?? 🙂
Geoff, it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly inspirational you are to all those you touch. Thank you
Thanks Susan
So guilt assists us to do what we should be doing rather than what is easiest (at least in the short term). Let’s face it people who don’t feel guilt are usually not nice people. The trick is to allow just enough guilt to drive us to be better without being overwhelmed.
Here here!! Well said Robyn.
Very inspirational your amazing
Thanks Helene.
Geoff, don’t feel guilty for taking a short break from a strict diet and exercise regimen. It helps you relax, enjoy life’s pleasures and it then motivates you to quickly get back to the diet and exercise. Only feel guilty if you do nothing to change your lifestyle. This is definitely not the case with you. Take a break from time to time, you have more than earned it.
Thanks Steve. I do find myself taking break….. and it often includes a provision for chocolate :). I must admit that I am amazingly empowered when I seek to implement change. It is a real feel good agent, especially when that change improves my lifestyle.
Great thought provoking article, thanks Geoff. So tempting to put a risk management framework around these feelings of guilt. Which I guess is what we informally need to do, so we dont become consumed by guilt associated with actions that have far few consequences. Unfortunately your framework is tighter than mine……..but sometimes I wonder is it? what dont I know about my body? and that I shouldnt take health for granted. We have made improvements but is it enough?
Hey Brydie. I am really pleased that I am provoking thought, as it is such thought that can instigate productive self assessment and improvement.